Facing your fears

What do you fear? When faced with that fear, how do you respond to it? Do you try to avoid all possible confrontation with that fear? What if the very place that you are intended to be is on the other side of that confrontation, but the only course of action is to face your fear?
Many a year back, I felt a strong calling into ministry, specifically working with youth. I knew that a ginormous obstacle in my way was going to be college, more specifically writing papers. I confronted my fears, for a while. But I could not see to the other side to the end result. It got to the point where I gave up school and the hope of God's calling. I mean, I can do ministry without a piece of paper, right?
I still firmly believe that. But this summer, I was reminded of something foundational to the building of my character. It was time to face my fear, and conquer it. Now I feel like I've been wandering in the desert for far too long. Is it still in God's plan for me to enter Youth Ministry in a paid position? Maybe in another area of the church. I really don't know. But I know that this fight is for me to complete.
Is this fight easy, not at all. I lack a lot of discipline when comes to focusing on my studies. Sometimes it is really just bout the process. To quote that great modern philosopher, Ain't about how fast I get there, Ain't about what's waiting on the other side, Its the climb.
Maybe God has great things in store for me as a result of getting a piece of paper with a degree on it. Maybe I will never "use" it and work in the "real world". That is ok by me. I just want to obedient to God's call in my life where ever he takes me. And for now its fighting through this thing that others have achieved so gracefully, but is so hard for me.
And now I leave you with this... here is a little clip about a guy who's trying to save the girl, but to do so he must face two of the worst things in the world combined. A zombie clown.
(Disclaimer. Yes this from a rated R movie. If you are offended by that, don't click on the play button.)

Let the church help.

Psalm 63: 1-3

¹ O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.

² I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.

³ Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.

Sounding Board

Sounding board 1 a : a structure behind or over a pulpit, rostrum, or platform to give distinctness and sonority to sound b : a device or agency that helps propagate opinions or utterances c : a person or group on whom one tries out an idea or opinion as a means of evaluating it

I cannot write papers. At least that is what I think, what I tell others, and what actually happens in a glorious meltdown of will, motivation, and useful thought when I try. I blame it on not formally learning how to in high school, or at least my other abilities in homework and test-taking compensated for, which lead to my mediocre grades at times. Writing papers has been the bane of my existence in college life, the first, the second, the third, and yes, the now fourth time round.

The truth of the matter is, I can write papers. I have all of the potential in the world. I just have trouble getting all of that potential moving somewhere coherently.

That is why I need a sounding board. I know what I want to say and write for the most part, I just have trouble getting to the point of writing and staying focused. When I can bounce ideas off of someone,(and sometimes I just need a good slap across the face) I can focus more clearly on the task at hand.

So, of course as my mind wonders, is there a spiritual application for this? Probably. I thought of one, but I just lost focus...

4 seconds of fame?

Look at 22 around seconds. You might see three people you know...

The Fall

Today is day 219 of the no pop challenge between me and the Graphics Guy. For some unbeknown reason, Dan fell to his carbonated caffeine desires.So now, without my competition, what am I to do? I will say this... I am proud that he made it into day 219, because that is probably the longest he or I have went without Sweet Nectar of Life.

Hope is rising

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

Psalms 27;13-14

When Darkness Reigns

So I still have to do another post on PhillyGO, but not now. Soon.

I had an incredible time at Summer Camp. It was the best camp so far. It was amazing to see kids step up into the calling of wanting Christ to be the very reason for everything that they do.

It was also the toughest five days of my life for me personally. And the days after will be just s tough. I've rediscovered things about me that I don't like, that I abhor. I can't stand that I hurt other people. I've wanted to run away from my problems, to get a fresh start. I've wanted to kill myself. For some reason, God is bringing me face with the lies of Satan that I've bought into, and everything else that is not of God, that has had a foothold in my life. Its not pretty, I'm sure you've seen it if you've been around me in these past few days.

At the same time through all of this, I've been reminded of God's faithfulness and His love for me. He has reminded me that I am valuable to Him and that I have an incredible impact on the lives of others. He has blessed me with the prayers of others who care for me. He has blessed me with friends who believe in me.
He is with me. He hasn't given up on me. He will see me through.

So now what? What does life look like right now?
It looks like someone who hates that he has made things difficult and frustrating for others, and is torn up inside because of it. It looks like someone who has to wrestle with the dark things inside, but will prevail.

So, I leave you with a song that just messed me up in a good way tonight. Yes, I know if you are like me you just glance over the words and think, "Aww, that is nice." But truly look at the words. better yet, listen to the song and read the words. Tear Down The Walls, by Hillsong United.

Tear down the walls see the world
Is there something we have missed
Turn from ourselves
Look beyond
There is so much more than this

And I don’t need to see it to believe it
I don’t need to see it to believe it
Cause I can’t shake this
Fire deep inside my heart

Look to the skies hope arise
See His majesty revealed
More than this life there is love
There is hope and this is real

Cause I don’t need to see it to believe it
I don’t need to see it to believe it
Cause I can’t shake this fire burning
Deep inside my heart

This life is Yours and hope is rising
As Your glory floods our hearts
Let love tear down these walls
That all creation would
Come back to You
It’s all for You

Your Name is glorious
Glorious
Your love is changing us
Calling us
To worship in spirit and in truth
As all creation returns to You

Oh for all the sons and daughters
Who are walking in the darkness
You are calling us to lead them back to You
We will see Your spirit rising
As the lost come out of hiding
Every heart will see this hope we have in You

Cause I don’t need to see it to believe it
I don’t need to see it to believe it
Cause I can’t shake this fire burning
Deep inside my heart

This life is Yours and hope is rising
As Your glory floods our hearts
Let love tear down these walls
That all creation would
Come back to You
It’s all for You

Your Name is glorious
Glorious
Your love is changing us
Calling us
To worship in spirit and in truth
As all creation returns to You


So there you have it. I'm failing at the contest to be stoic. But that is okay.

This life is yours... and hope is rising...

PhillyGo through the eyes of a adult-type person.

Its about time I posted, so here we go...

PhillyGo was the sixth consecutive (mission/evangelism)trip that I have been on with NMC Senior High. We stayed at a Presbyterian church in the Kensington area, which is on the NorthEast side of Philly. There were 21 students and 6 leaders on this trip.

This like every trip I've been on, this trip was unique. We had many opportunities to serve the community, whether it was the various Salvation Army locations, serving at a ministry to the homeless, or playing and building relationships with the children of the neighborhood. We also had many opportunities to share our faith in these areas, as well as out right starting conversations to share the Truth.

From before the trip started, there was an evident theme of breaking out of comfort zones and being obedient to whatever God called us to do. It was awesome to witness this is action. I saw the quiet students become more vocal and confident. I saw encouragement gone rampant(granted it was pushed on them at first, but they took it and made it their own). I saw students become bold in their faith. I saw Christ move in their hearts. I saw lives messed up and wrecked because of and for Jesus Christ.

And it hasn't stopped so far. I look back at the other trips I've been on, and I can truly say there is something different about this trip, about these students. It may be too early to truly say, but maybe not. I see a change that can only have happened from those who have truly met with and surrendered to Jesus Christ. This not to say that the other trips weren't powerful, or lives weren't changed, I'm just saying that this trip seems different.

I'm excited.

I'm excited to see what is going to tke place at Summer Camp.

I'm excited to see what is going to take place once school starts.

I'm excited to see what God has in store for the Barbarians from Philadelphia. I pray that I will be one of them as well.

Video Blog

AIM took some time to interview several of our students while in Philly. Check it here.

Back from Philly.

Hello again, I'm back from a week long trip to Philadelphia, Pa With NMC Student Ministries on the GO trip. We spent a lot of time, here. I hope to elaborate on this trip soon. Still trying to figure out some of what God is saying to me.

Late night ponderings.

Do you ever spend time with toddlers or little children? What goes on in your mind while you play/interact with them?

I love playing with kids. I love trying to make them smile, and chasing them as some horrible monster, which leads to me getting beat up(Pastor Rockstar's children are good at this, I discovered).

One thing I've come to realize that happens in those situations is that those that I interact with...they are the only ones in the world to me at that point in time. I automatically forget about what is going on next, what do I have to do, or any other thing that is so "important" and consumes my mind.

Every once in a while I will have a conversation with someone and I will end up with the same feeling... that nothing else in the world matters at the point of in time, but that conversation.

What do I take away from these different examples? That those things that consume my thoughts and worry about aren't always all that important. That I need to continue to be a better listener. And being silly for the little ones is always okay.

Let us pray, let us pray...

• Dustin Eby. Leaves tomorrow to start his trip that leads him to Rwanda.
• Caleb Bislow. Leading the charge on this Rwanda trip.
• NLF Impact team currently in Nicaragua.
  
• Philadelphia trip. Students and leaders doing Lord knows what.
• Jeffrey Simpson. A leader that is going on above trip. Pray that his life won't be gripped by fear as to being a leader, being vulnerable, being an instrument of God. Pray that he doesn't get distracted. Pray that God would rock his world when it comes to falling more in love with the heart of God and His desires.
  

Where do you go for...

Encouragement? Do you go to the Bible, and if so, is that enough? Do you go to your friends, kick a can and stare at your feet and mope around until they cheer you up?

Goodbye, Lord Denethor.

Do you ever get impulsive about something? Every once and a while, I do. Last night I decided to get rid of something that I have wasted so much of my time and life in the last two years or so.

Its been something that had been on my mind for a while, and last night I decided to do get rid of it, and today I went through with it.

I'm sure I'll miss it, but I'm excited at the possibilities without it. I've been meaning to do a lot of reading.( I was a reading fiend in high school.) I think that without it, I will be a better human and Christ follower.

Only time will tell.

Hello from the Point

Here I am in Sandusky, Ohio at the Hotel Breakers at Cedar Point. I'm here with Bauer, Mish, Chunk, and Paul Wall.
I'm convinced that coming to Cedar Point the night before is the way to go. You are here. You get to sleep well. You get in the park an hour before the public if you stay in a Cedar Point owned resort thingy. You go home not completely exhausted.
I've always loved this trip in May. High School is still in session and Summer is not in full swing. 15 min waits in line or walk-ons are the norm.
This trip has slowly evolved. it started with me and Bauer and a bunch of others, to us two and one of our close friends, to finding a fourth to even out on the rides. This year that close friend couldn't make it, but Mish who came last year and loved it is back, plus die hard Cedar Point guru Chunk, and Mish's live in guest Paul Wall.

I'm excited.

For me this trip has become a time to put life on pause, not worry about life, work, whatnot, and have fun.

We've listened to great music, we've laughed a good bit, and we've had some serious conversations. I'm sure more is to come... we haven't even got to the rides yet.

Star Wars vs Star Trek

Yes, I pulled this off of someone else's blog:

Back.

I'm back from being away. It was good to be away for awhile. I wish it could have been longer. I didn't accomplish nearly as much as I desired.
Some things I learned while I was gone:
Life goes on without the internet.
I could seriously work for the DNR here, here, or here.
Going to bed at 10 and waking up whenever is where it is at.
We try way too hard at complicating Christianity and sucking the joy and fun out of it.
The trials and circumstances that plague us are mostly complicated and compounded by us.

Star Trek

Its official. J.J. Abrams does nothing but brilliant work. This movie was awesome. The nerds will love it, as well as the people who deny the nerd within them.

127

Today is day 127 of no pop whatsoever. For you keeping track at home, that's over 1/3 of a year.

Taco Bell Song

What made the human mind dark enough to kill?

Its been ten years. Ten years ago today, April 20, 1999. I remember where I was when I first heard the news. I was working at a warehouse for grain distribution parts in New Paris on that day. I was still 18, not much older that the two boys who did the unthinkable to their classmates.


So much pain. So much hurt. So much darkness. Yet through this horrible tragedy, Christ has been glorified over and over through the friends and family of those killed that day.

I love that the Living God who I serve, the God who out of darkness brings a new hope.
Here is your freedom.

Homesick

Have you ever been homesick? I can remember I was stuck with a bunch of strangers in Pennsylvania. I wanted nothing to do with anything, or anybody. I just wanted to be home where it was safe and familiar.

Today I got homesick.

Except today, it was a little different. I had this longing to be home with Jesus. I mean, there is always a longing to be home, but this was magnified today. The question I am asking myself is, "What am I going to do with this longing?"

My best answer is to echo the prayer that Jesus taught his disciples in Matthew 6:

"...your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven..."

So, can any of you relate out there? Has life beaten you up? Are you so busy doing things for God, that you lose focus of why you where doing those things to begin with?
May you take time to realign your focus, not to just be busy, but to have purpose in the things you do.

What is that?

Have you ever driven by something along the side of the road and wanted to take a closer look? Maybe I'm the only one weird like that. Anyways, I was making multiple trips into town for work and saw something that I thought I recognized, but wasn't sure if it was what I thought it was.

So, after work I grabbed my camera, hopped in my Jeep, and went to investigate. Sure enough, what I saw was what I thought I saw.

The Verdict.

Ten years ago this summer, I went out to Kingdom Building Ministries in Aurora, Colorado to participate in The Laborer's Institute. My first Wednesday night back at church following TLI, I decided to race a Jr. Higher to the room that we meet in. There are two ways to get to this room, I chose the back way. On my way to the room, I kinda landed on my foot wrong going down a half flight of stairs. It made some noises an ankle shouldn't, and almost immediately started to swell up. It turned black and purple and was hard to walk on for about two weeks.
I never had my ankle looked at, and always wondered what I really did.

A couple of weeks ago, I started to run. Two Fridays ago, my foot started to hurt. After an x-ray, a bone scan, and consulting with an orthopedic dude, I discovered that I have a stress fracture in the cuboid(#7).

Now when talking to the orthopedic guy about my stress fracture, he asked me if I had a previous injury to my foot. So, because of my second injury, I did find out that I messed up my ankle ten years ago.

The verdict? I'm not as young as I used to be, and I need to be more careful.

Validation

The One and only Byron Bauer pointed this out on facebook...

Sheep

I saw this on Stuff Christians Like this morning. Pretty amazing.

Remember what God has done.

I love to take pictures. I'd rather be behind the viewfinder, than in front of the lens. Recently, I've been looking through some of the pics that I have taken. It has been fun to reminisce of times past, but it also reminds me of what God has done in my life and in those around me.

In looking at the past, I'm excited about what's to come.

10 worship songs, 10 Artists

I've been pondering this post about this, so it is now time. What are ten worship songs from ten different artists that impact me? So, in no particular order...

1. Refuse to be Denied by Desperation Band. I had no idea who Jared Anderson or the Desperation Band was until they came to our church a few years back.

2. Everything by Tim Hughes. The connection Band brought this one into my life recently.

3. Fire Fall Down by Hillsong United. For the longest time I heard people talking about this Hillsong group. Once I fell into the peer pressure, I now know why.

4. If I stand by Rich Mullins. This song has saved me on many dark nights.

5. Only you by David Crowder Band

6. Glorious One by Steve Fee. I first heard Fee's music at Jr. High Summer Camp a few years back. I got one of his albums soon after. Great stuff.

7. My Glorious by Delirious. Delirious is one of the first bands that I grew to love after becoming a follower of Jesus. It reminds me of Bethel Chapel.

8. I know by Darell Evans

9. Rushing Wind by Keith Green. I read the biography of this guy while at KBM. Incredible story. Its amazing to see how God uses people for his Glory, and to draw people unto Him.

10. Gifted Response by Matt Redman

In case you were wondering...

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

10 things

Back in my college days I heard a wise man speak on personal revival. He gave a list.

10 things to have continuous revival
1. Get thoroughly dissatisfied with yourself.
2. Throw yourself into your desire for God.
3. Put yourself in the way of spiritual blessings.
4. Do a thorough job of repenting.
5. Make restitution wherever possible.
6. Bring your life into accord with the scriptures.
7. Be serious minded.
8. Deliberately narrow your interests.
9. Begin to witness.
10. Have faith in God.

8 miles

The On Fire Rallies changed my life.

It all started what will be 12 years ago. I was attending another church at the time, and had heard about a series of nights dedicated to growing deeper in one's relationship with Christ. I had decided that I was going to make it a priority to check it out.

I was not disappointed.

I found that the worship music was different than singing the hymns and an occasional chorus, and the speaker was challenging me right where I was at. I met many people, including a Pastor, several volunteers, and even several other students who were so friendly, welcoming, and encouraging. Its like I was visiting my home after a long and tiring trip. I was glad I went.

The next year (Spring of 98), I was a senior. At this point in life I was at the mercy of my parents when it came to driving, as I didn't have a car yet. One night of the On Fire Rallies, both my parents were out with the vehicles, and I had no ride, except for the two-wheeled variety. So, one dreary, drizzling night, I donned a yellow rain poncho and peddled the roughly 8 miles from my house to Nappanee Missionary Church. I wasn't going to let anything keep my from participating in what I knew was going to be an incredible time to focus on God.

The On Fire Rallies changed my life. One might say that my life would have sucked without it. I found a place I fit in, It helped shape my choices of my life after high school, and my desire to invest in the lives of youth.

I look back and think of what God has done in my life through the On Fire Rallies, and I thank and praise Him. But more importantly, I look forward in anticipation of what God is going to do.

As I sit in a Coffee House on the eve of this year's Rallies, I'm trying to think. Am I ready? Like the 8 miles that would have kept me from learning and drawing closer to God, is there anything that could be keeping me from hearing God speak to me?

Poll.

I created a poll. Go to take a look at it and vote.

Clay shooting

Is 3 years long enough to get over someone?

I stayed up to watch this episode. Loved it.

Currently watching/listening to

Currently watching: The Shelby427 at Las Vegas. I love NASCAR, especially when its done by Fox Sports. I love watching pit strategy, learning about the different adjustments to the cars to improve them, and like anyone else, the wrecks. I guess the only thing left to sy is Lowes knows home improvement.

Currently listening to: Lone Lilly by Regan Graverson. Regan performed last night in Goshen. Good stuff. Its not the kind of music that I'd normally listen to, and I think that's why I like it.

Always be prepared.

In my everyday travels, there are two things I always try to carry with me.

1. A pocket knife/multi-tool. It seems like whenever I don't carry one, I need it. Also, as soon as I don't carry one, other people become intensely disappointed in me.

2. A minimum of one pen, but preferably at least two. Whether its signing for a delivery or writing a quick reminder at work, or taking notes during a message, its always good to be prepared. The reason I saw preferably at least two is that inevitably someone asks to borrow a pen. And 83% of the time, I will never see said loaned pen again.

Its going to be a velcro shoes day tomorrow.

I'm pulling out the back up shoes. Here is why... As I was hanging out at a friends house, it was time to leave. As it had been raining cats and dogs and men all night long, everyone parked wherever they pleased on the driveway.

As anyone knows, the parking situation can be a tricky situation. Show up last- you're good to go. But as in my case, show up early- and you are up a creek.

While trying to figure out how to get out(because I knew the ground was waaay too soft), I watched somebody attempt going into the yard to get around a couple of vehicles. Knowing the inevitable outcome, I waited with my tow straps and Jeep to come to the rescue.

This is where the fun begins. I could have been one of the people to stand around, or I could hook up the strap to the car and my Jeep. To do this, I had to get down and soaking wet to find a place to hook on to:Although the pic doesn't do it justice, I'm soaking from the knees down.

What is the point of this story? It could be that I like playing in mud puddles and using my Jeep to pull people out of being stuck.

No, my point is this: Sometimes you have to get down and messy sometimes to help a friend out.
So, is this a regular practice for me? I don't know. I want it to be, whether its literally or figuratively. How about you? Are you willing to get down and dirty for your friends?

By the way thanks to several people this week. Whether its been through Facebook, texting, or through conversations, you've made my week worthwhile.

Get in line.

I like this video.

Red Green

Back in the day, I used to watch a wonderful show Saturday nights on PBS... the Red Green show. Its out of Canada, so that should sum it up. They had a regular segment on the show called the Handyman Corner. Here are several clips from the show...

Rwanda Night silent auction

Auction items are now posted.To check them out, go here and bid often!

There's gonna be a floody, floody

Today's lesson is brought to you by last night's power outage. Always make sure the breaker for the sump pump is not tripped.
So this morning, the Lord has reminded me by force, to cut down and the amount of stuff I have. I guess I could be really be upset by this turn of events, or I could just roll with it, and just thank God for the bigger picture of all that He has done for me and all that He is to me.
So without further ado,
Rise and shine
And give God the glory, glory...

You tube

Here's a little tribute to a movie I'm watching right now:


I found this on a old friend's blog. Its pretty interesting:


I'm a nerd who likes Nerf guns. Some bigger nerds than me modded one:

25 Things

Since I was tagged over a week ago, I figured its about time to please the masses.

1. I can't stand Ketchup, Mustard, or Mayonnaise.
2. I rode the school bus until two weeks before I graduated high school.
3. I've never had a milkshake from Steak and Shake.
4. I almost died on a waterfall in Thailand.
5. My favorite band will always be Five Iron Frenzy.
6. My mountain bike got stolen at Cornerstone Music Festival in 1996.
7. As a 7th grader, I performed on the field in the Hoosier Dome for Marching Band.
8. Most people at Prairie Camp know me as the guy with a horsefly on a string.
9. When I was young, I wanted to be a Fireman when I grew up.
10. I've been T.P.ing once in my life. Ask me me in 4 months about it.
11. If I had to live in another state, it would be Colorado.
12. I've never been to Mexico.
13. I almost blew my foot off with a 20 ga. shotgun (as a teenager...I'm smarter now).
14. I shot a deer once hunting with Chad Loucks. I realized after I shot it, I had done so, illegally.
15. I have regularly attended five churches in my life... Three of them I worked at.
16. I have been to the World's largest hand-dug well.
17. The summer is my favorite season.
18. If I went back to college, I'd be a Junior.
19. I want to go to Africa, Australia, New Zealand, and back to Thailand.
20. I truly first met Jesus in a tent in a field on County Road 9 at the age of 16.
21. My favorite NMC student ministry songs are Happy Birthday(as loud and off key as possible) and Little Cabin in the woods.
22. Some of my favorite times of work are when I'm the only one in the church.
23. I've worked at three Mc'Donalds in my life.
24. I love tearing things apart to figure out how they work... and them attempt to put them back together.
25. If I were a crocodile, I'd thank the Lord for my big smile.

Lesson learned yesterday

This is a Sharpie permanent marker.

Never, ever, under any circumstances wave the above marker around without the cap on. Otherwise, you will have permanent marker on your jeans, the door, the walls, the ceiling, and the desk of the Children's Ministries Coordinator.

Behind the times?

As I was withdrawing some money from the bank today, the teller completed the transaction, then got into her best kindergarten teacher -its time to grab your mat and take a nap - voice, and said to me, "You know, you can get a debit card and take out cash anytime..."

In case you were wondering...

This is what you'll find at the bottom of the page for the movie Fireproof at IMDb.

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Its late.

Well, its after 2 in the morning, and I am still up. Why? I don't know. Well, that's not entirely true. Do you ever have those moments when God keeps you up for what you deem is no apparent good reason? Well, I do. And its usually because God knows he has my undivided attention in these times.

Its time for me to recant my faith.

No, not my faith in Jesus Christ, my faith in me. A concept jumped into my head a while back, and it can be linked with Galatians 5:7 You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? I do believe that I allowed Jeff to get in the way of Jeff.

So how do I keep from Jeff from getting in the way of Jeff?

I must abandon the belief that I can fix every thing in my life by myself.
I must abandon the belief that I have all the answers.
I must abandon the belief that I am in control.
I must abandon the belief that I am worthless. (Contradictory? Nope.)

I must surrender my will.
I must surrender my fear.
I must surrender my rights.
I must surrender my doubts.
I must surrender.

I must decrease so that Christ may increase.

How many texts can you send in a day?

I bet you not more than this girl.

My Ladies

You got to know when to hold 'em...

For the third time in my life I played texas hold em, the game which traversed from one year to another. I'm pretty sure I lack the proper knowledge how to play the game. However, with the combination of being utterly exhausted from a four day youth trip,which caused me to not care how I played, and hanging out with people who consumed a little too much adult drinks, the miraculous happened...

From Despair to Hope.

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

'Cause I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

10 days

10 days until the winter Retreat.

Random thought

All I want and all I need, is someone who believes in me.

That is a line out of a song done by Five Iron Frenzy. Its basically referring to God being the one who looks out after the person who is picked on, and overlooked. There are times I tend to think about it in another way.
Oh great, he's going to complain about being single.
No, not really. I really don't know as to what the purpose of this writing is, other than to help me vent and process, and maybe get some feedback from Lord knows who.

For some reason, I had an image pop into my head while driving after church. It was the image of the mirror in Snow White(really random, I know). Now I know this is an example that falls short and does not compare really, but I'm working with what I got here.

Nevermind. I'm too tired to explain it. I enjoy the moments in life where by being around people who, just by being around them, I feel like I'm a better person, and I don't even think about myself as a result of being around them.

Did you know?

... that on the ends of saran wrap and aluminum foil boxes, there are tabs you press in to keep the rolls from jumping out?

Wednesday.

Wednesday was a good day.

For the first time in a long time...

...I went roller skating. The 9th and 10th grades went to a rink in Elkhart (not Middlebury). What was the result?

Right now I'm wondering who thought it would be fun to strap wheels on to their shoes? I'll tell you who... the kids who didn't pay attention in Physics class and spent their afternoons riding down hills in shopping carts.

Sometimes I understand my whole purpose at certain junctures in time is to make people laugh. Mission accomplished.

I just wish it could be done in ways that wouldn't make me so sore.

Saw a rabbit hopping by, knocking at his door...

My deepest apologies to the blog faithful out there. Every now and then, I just get consumed by the hustle of life and neglect the 'ol blog. Hopefully I can assuage the void with sever posts today...

Last night, I got to spend the night out away from the world, away from cell phones, from electricity, from running water. Its been a while since I got to slooow down and get away. It was great just to be able to talk about church, ministry and life with one of the coolest people I know(Only a little less cooler that the person he's married to).

Rain-deer?

Story here.

While listening to a message...

...sometimes one will draw while taking notes.

What if

What if we had another Martin Luther in our time? What if he or she would say that the church is not as effective as it could be? What if they were right?

Would we politely disagree and send them on their way? Would we be too stubborn to even contemplate ministry in a new light because of tradition, because it is change?

What is more important? Our security in what is comfortable, or Christ being glorified?

Question

Would you want to know the truth about God even if it is different than what you currently believe?

Christmas lights

I just got done putting up some Christmas lights. No, its not because I'm in the Christmas spirit. I have my reasons, but for now I will keep you in the dark.

I might shed more light on the subject later.

For the first time in my life...

I had one of these today:

Guys and guns.

Here is a "shot" of Obama's Secret Service in action as Obama was heading to the gym. I really have nothing profound to say-I just like the picture. Except now that I think of it, it reminds me of a story...
This is the backside of my beloved first... The Gray Ghost- a '86 Olds Cutlass Cruiser station wagon. I could share many memories, but I will share just one for now.

My wagon had a two person seat that looked out the back. Once I had the opportunity to use that seat as my postion as a waged war on the Marmota monax. With the back hatch open, I helped reduce the population on a farm. Needless to say, although I had fun, I didn't look as cool as the Secret Service Agent.

For the 3rd time in my life...

...I voted in a Presidential Election. I figure one of two things will happen:

a) My choice will win and people will undoubtedly complain.

b) My choice will lose and people will undoubtedly complain.

At least in scenario b, I can say "Hey don't complain to me, I voted for the other guy."

Song's from Simpson's Ipod

Ok, since Dan has tagged me, I figured I'll get right to it. Here are the first 15 songs as a result of hitting shuffle...
1. Any Other Love by Smalltown Poets off the album Third Verse
2. Holy Roar by Christy Nockels off the album Passion: The Road to One Day
3. Medley: Give/Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus/With Or Without You/Your Love Oh Lord by Third Day off the album Offerings II: All I Have to Give
4. Adams Groove by MC Hammer off the album Back to Back Hits: MC Hammer/Vanilla Ice
5. Hold Me by Jennifer Knapp of the album Kansas
6. I Will Remember You by Brenton Brown off the album Everlasting God
7. Praise Song by Third Day off the Album Third Day
8. Don't Be There by Switchfoot off the album The Legend Of Chin
9. You Already Take Me There by Switchfoot off the album Simply Survival (one of the compilation albums)
10. Lady Down on Love by Alabama off the album For The Record[Disc 1]
11. All Fall Down by Sarah Masen off the album Sarh Masen
12. Sweep Me Away by Charlie Hall of the album Passion: Our Love Is Loud
13. Into Your Arms Again by Ian Eskelin off the album Save The Humans
14. Grace Flood by Supertones off the album Supertones Strike Back
15. Your Life Is Now by John Mellencamp off the album Words & Music [Disc 1]

My two cents on the election

Its time for me to Jump into the circus that is pOlitics and the Presidential elections.

I Hate the way ChristiaNs get all obsessed and crazy over elections. Granted the Founding Fathers May have been predominantly Christian, but the nation they helped start was to be free from tyranny and being told how to worship, how to live, etC.

As a follower of Christ I don't agree with the faCt that people like to have the choice to abort their bAbies, or particIpate in same-sex civil uNions or marriages. However, who am I to tell people how to live their lives?

Here is my anSwer... I am not to tell people- yet I am. God hAs called his people to be a kingdom of pRiests and a holy nAtion (Ex. 19: 6). By living out my relationsHip with Christ, that is how I am to tell peoPle about Christ. Yelling at people that abortion and homosexuAlity is a sin doesn't get peopLe to change theIr ways aNd fall in love with Christ.

With that being said, I think people should have hopefully done research on who they think is going to do the better job. I think it is ok to chose someone based on their position on the issues, but for crying out loud, don't try to force your views on people who don't agree with you.

Also, Rom. 13: 1

I am Jeffrey Simpson, and I approved this message.

I have a problem...

...every once and a while, I open my mouth and vomit words and phrases before thinking about the ramifications of what is being said. Case in point:

Last Monday, I was chatting with J.T. about his beloved Fightin' Irish of Notre Dame. Before thinking, I told him that if he could get Tank Lehane to actually update his blog, I would admit to liking the football team of the forementioned institution.

Having too much faith in Lehane,(who hadn't posted on his blog in over a year) got me in trouble. Jumping at the chance to see me suffer, he finally updated his blog. So without further ado...

Growing up I liked Notre Dame I enjoyed watching Lou and his team on Saturdays stomping all over their opponents. As I got older, the local news stations started annoy the daylights out of me on how they touted the Irish as God's gift to Football. As time passed, I found it much easier to enjoy the misfortunes of the Irish. It makes it all the more enjoyable when you can find die-hard fans to heckle.

I guess I always had a special place in my heart for Notre Dame football. However, there is a roadblock for the return of this sheep to the fold.

I love the Indianapolis Colts, which mean I despise the New England Patriots. Charlie Weis. I can't stand the guy. I don't like what I've heard about his character, and that he was a part of the Patriots. So basically when I watch the Irish under Weis, I see the Patriots.

The solution you faithful followers of Irish football? Get rid of Weis, and I will be no longer your arch-nemesis.

It's blogging time!!

Ladies and gentlemen, friends and blog-stalkers... its time to post crazy. I owe a post or two to some people, and I have a few that have been rattling around in the cranium. So, without further ado, I hope you enjoy.

My own worst enemy

I'm slightly frustrated right now. I looked at my lineup for my Fantasy football team late this afternoon, and realized that a wide receiver I had intended to activate after a bye week was still on my bench.
Now, when it comes to me playing in fantasy sports leagues, I fair only slightly better than playing sports video games. But this week I had the slim chance to upset the undefeated Graphics Man.

And I would have if that guy was in my lineup.

At least I can take joy in knowing his prediction was wrong on my Colts tonight.

A tale of two video games.

I like video games. To be more specific, most rpg, strategy, of shooter games. One might sat that I am adept at them.However, there is a genre of video games that kicks my butt. Sports games. I don't know what it is, but I can't do well at sports in the video gaming world. I suppose if you want a fighting chance while hanging out with me, have me play something that doesn't involve shooting.

Quote of the day.

"Do you know what the problem of working in the church is?

Grace."

I said this to a pastor at church today, which caused him to fall to the ground, laughing. I was trying to explain how it seems to me like people abuse grace when it comes to working with others.

It is hard to truly explain what I mean, but inside a church the size of the one I work in, you have the ministry side and the business side. As Christians, we live under grace and working at a church, grace is present by default.

I've worked out in the 'real world' and in the confines of the church. They are very different.

When it all comes down to the core, I think I have a problem with working with grace. I want to treat the people who do well better than the people who don't.

But that is not grace, Jeff.

You are correct. I do believe that God gives everyone grace equally, from the out set. Its later on that gets confusing, but I do believe I need to work and live in the confines before it gets confusing.

So yeah, one of those stressful days, but I want to learn from it and improve my attitude at work.

People who should be blogging.

On my way home last night from hanging out with some amazing people, I got to thinking about who I'd like to see in the blogging world. In no particular order...

1. Todd and Sheila Eby: This wonder duo has been in ministry for a long time. Currently they help out in the Jr. High ministry, and help out with the Young Adults as well.

2. Burmell Walter: This gentlemen ends up in prison a lot. I love hearing his stories on life and his encounters in prison ministry.

3. Dave Engbrecht: Do I need to explain?

4. Ed Moser: My immediate superior at work. His attitude on life and his wisdom from his experiences is worth learning from.

5. Chris Lehane: Junior High pastor at church. It would be cool to see his perspective from ministry in a small youth group to a large youth group. It would also be cool to see how in the world he handles life with three women in his house. Wait a minute, he does have a blog! But, it hasn't been updated in OVER ONE YEAR!!!

The second time around

Do you ever here a message once and it is ok, but the second or third time you hear it, it has a bigger impact?

Now I'm not saying that the person giving the message has anything to do with it...far from it. It has to do with the timing of hearing the message. Hence the having a bigger impact upon hearing it again at a different time.

Thanks man.

I'm a victim of peer pressure...

...or something like that. There are two people that I occasionally eat lunch with that have this ability to coerce me into resigning my valiant efforts to stay away from carbonated beverages. So, on day 85, after 84 consecutive days without it... I caved. Today for the first time in my life, I think I had a headache because of too much caffeine. Well I think Saturday will be Day 1.

Reminder

Psalm 42:11

11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

ICE

A while back I was listening to the local talk radio out of Ft. Wayne, as I normally do when I am in a vehicle during working hours. They were talking about ICE, or In Case of Emergency. ICE is a handy little thing that is supposed to help first responders in contacting relatives or whoever is an accident occurs. Most cell phones that are made these days have the ICE function as the first spot in the contacts of the phone.

It was interesting to think of how such a silly little thing could make first responder's jobs so easy. Granted, its not fun to think of, but its probably worth having. Even if your phone doesn't have the Ice function you can add ICE as a contact. Just put a symbol or a number in front of ICE so it will be at the top of your contact list and be so easy for first responders to find.

10... er... uh... 4 questions

So, things don't always go as planned, but it is still good.

1. What is your dream job? Wow, this one has made me think a good bit. Growing up, I wanted to be a Fire Fighter. I love working with my hands whether it is building something or tearing it apart. I like seeing immediate results. I also love being outdoors and working with youth. In my dream job, I think I would like to own my own business, so I could choose my own hours on go on trips as I choose. I would love to take groups on white-water rafting trips, mission trips, and whatnot.

2. Would you like to hangout sometime? Yes. Halo. Ultrazone. Wendy's. Who knows?

3. If you could be anyone off of Heroes, who would you be? This is a dangerous question to ask a nerd. In my mind it is simple. Peter Petrelli, who has the power to absorb the powers of other people with abilities. Now, if I was in a world were I was the only one with abilities... Hiro Nakamura, who possesses the ability of space-time manipulation.

4. What is the next outrageous thing you will be doing with your hair? The next outrageous thing? A little presumptive, are we? I probably won't know for sure until the time nears. Most likely it will be something I haven't done. Someone mentioned to me that I should do a bowl cut, not unlike our neighbors in the Naptown area. Corn rows? Or maybe I'll just do a tribute to several summers ago... Business up front, party in the back!

Thanks for participating. Maybe I will do this again sometime.

10 Questions

Well, I thought about asking for input again on my day off, but I never know when one of the pastors are going to take a vacation day. Anyways, Derry did this last week. I thought of doing it, but was too lethargic, so lets try it. If you readers can come out of hiding with 10 questions, I will answer them...

Time for a rant

Well, this might be a little dangerous and I might step and some toes, but its time for me to jump back on the soap box for a few minutes. Hopefully the intent behind this post will be understood.

First of all, I am a recovering hypocrite. Maybe that is a little too optimistic. I definitely am not perfect and have plenty of hypocritical tendencies that I need to work on.

It all started last week. I was debating on whether to go to First Serve Sat. It came down to Friday, and I still hadn't decided if I was going to go. My weekends have been crazy for about a month now, and the thought of being gone to volunteer from 8a.m. to 4p.m. then working from 6:30 until who knows when was not very appealing to me. As this debate was going on inside my head, I ridiculed someone for making excuses for not being able to go.

Friday night I started to think of the irony in what had transpired. I started to think of all of that. I got kicked in the butt for my attitude on this. I decided that I needed to go to First Serve and that was that.

At lunch somehow I got into a conversation about how many people from our church actually participate in serving. I started to get frustrated. I don't understand how it is so hard for me or anyone else to give up a few hours of time a month.

Sunday morning in class we were going over James 1. Check out the last two verses:
26If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. 27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Are we making the most of the opportunities that are before us? If not, what can we do to get to that spot?

80

Today is day 80 of no pop whatsoever. I'm trying to figure out if I want to keep going, or take a couple day break, then jump back in on it. If I take a break, anyone want to do a no pop challenge with me?

200!!

This is my 200th post. Yeah, I know its cheap, but hey, its my blog. Here to more posts of me rambling about things nobody cares about and undoubtedly more posts that people will misinterpret.

The Joys of Technology

I recently bought a scanner, so I could scan some pics of years gone by. I did some preliminary experimenting to figure out the workings of the device. Thinking I had mastered the concepts, I attempted to scan about oh, 450 pics. Needless to say, results weren't as desired. I better actually read the manual or something.

I need input

Hello faithful readers, I need you help. I'm lacking the desire to think about it, but I feel I need an adventure or something... so what should I do on my day off tomorrow? Creativity may be rewarded... somehow.

Thoughts from the day

• I've been thinking a lot about the passage out of James... 3:1-2 to be more specific. It just so happened that a podcast I listened to while working was covering the same thing. Kinda funny how that is. And its a reminder of how serious a responsibility it is to be a teacher.
• I think I feel like I have the same tendencies that David. There are times I think everything is great, and other times I think the world is crashing down on me. I guess its comforting to know that someone else has gone through it before me.
• I also can relate to the children of Israel on the Exodus. Far too often I forget the many things God has done for me, and get too focused on the here and now before me. Once I take the time to step out of my situations, I can gain a clearer perspective on life. It helps to have other people around to help do the reminding.
  

A sight not ssen in a while...

I was thinking to myself that I hadn't seen a praying mantis in a while. Well, on my way to the house after church, I saw this:Ok, so maybe you aren't as excited as I was to see it. Its just one of those little things you expect to see, and when you don't see it after a long time, it makes it all the cooler when you see it. You see?

Random story

So, apparently my last post was a little too disturbing for some people out there. In light of that, here is a less disturbing random story. Or two.

Growing up, I lived in the country, but not on a farm. I might as well have, for as much time as I spent at my Amish neighbors' or at my Grandpa's. One thing that intrigued me is that one of my neighbors had a plethora of rabbits. I decided that I wanted to give raising rabbits a shot. I can't remember off hand how long I had them, but it was close to a year.

I've been to Cornerstone Music Festival in Bushnell, Ill twice. Coincidentally, in 1996, I camped several hundred feet away from the one and only Derry Prenkert before I actually ever met him. If there is one thing you need to know about Cornerstone, it is that there is absolutely nothing that is out of the ordinary.

In 2000, (the year I camped next to Theodore) I was walking down a road towards one of the venues, when I had to stop and look at a campsite. What I saw that grabbed me attention was a bunny sitting on a lawn chair. When I stopped and stared, it got up and its hind legs and stared back at me. The only thing I could do was shrug my shoulders and move on. The next pic.... I've got nothing. I needed two happier pics.
Except for...Butterfly in the sky....

Would you like a balloon?

Once upon a time, when I was a lot younger, I watched something that gave me nightmares. I don't know if I had a lot of them, I just remembered that I was scared of several things for a time in my youth.

The first thing was I was afraid to go down the steps in the basement at our house. It didn't help that that my dad would be on the other side of the steps and grabbing at my ankles, but I also remember watching a very scarry movie on video or t.v.

The second thing I was also afraid of for a while was clowns, that's right, clowns. Now I don't suffer from Coulrophobia now, it must have been just a temporary thing due to a horror movie. Does anyone know which movie?

Time for some images:If you don't know by now, this is from the movie "It" from Stephen King. I decided to watch it last night. Its not as scary as I remember, but its still pretty darn creepy. I mean a clown in a storm drain, how can that not be creepy?

Fringe

When it comes to sci-fi, it doesn't take much to hook me. I liked the X-files. I definitely will watch this. Besides, J.J. Abrams has his hand in it.

Anybody else with me?

On meeting a new Small Goup

I'm always a little anxious when it comes to the first phone calls to the guys... maybe even a bit nervous. But once I actually make the calls, I get relieved... and excited. I'm excited at the unknown. I hardly know any of these guys, and where the come from. I'm also excited to see what God is going to do in their lives. So, here is to the unknown and to what God is going to do in this next year.

Some song lyrics

The disease of self runs through my blood
Its a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control

Tell me, whats going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a savior

In the Light by DC Talk

Time in a bottle?

Have you seen that Zyrtec commercial with the lady that asks if you know that song, Time in a bottle? No, I don't know that song, thank you very much.

Weird dream

I had a weird dream last night. Now there are different kinds of weird. You have the ones that are just messed up, then you have the ones that are so close to reality, with maybe a thing or two slightly a skewed.

The latter is the one I had last night. Anyone know where I can find Joseph?

Light bulb moment.

As I was driving after church tonight, something hit me. I'm going to try to explain it the best I can.

Genesis 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. --Joseph responding to his brothers, after they realized that they were potentially up a creek as a result to the actions against him.

James 1: 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. --James writing the book of James.

A man with more wisdom than I told me a while back that God doesn't allow us to see the Big Picture of our lives because we wouldn't know how to handle it. He only allows us small glimpses of that picture here and there, revealing more as we are ready for it.

Now, I don't know if this is part of the Big Pic in my life, but I think its pretty cool. What if those times in my life that aren't necessarily things that harm me, but are things I don't understand, are the times that God uses to accomplish good in my life... in a sense the "saving" of my life - making me a better person through the trials in my life?

Tonight I realized that I need to not look to the future and what I want, but make the most of the opportunities here and now. In the past weeks and month, I believe God has been trying to show me to and make the most of the opportunities, the conversations, and friendships that are before me. Granted I may not understand any of these, but I think I may be on to something that will make me a better person, listener, and Christ follower. That is what I desire.

Clear as Mud? Good.

Email

Is it just me or is email going the way of the buffalo? Granted, the work email will always be a necessity, but the personal email is what I'm talking about. I think it has become more an obligation to check it, and delete the stuff that will pile up if gone unmonitored. Facebook, blogging, and text messaging has definitely taken front seat to the good 'ol email, at least in my life.

The joys of online gaming

I enjoy playing Halo 3. I also enjoy playing Halo 3 online. Its pretty amazing how you can play with people from other parts of the world. I've played with people from the U.K. and from Ireland, and Canada. I've played with people who spoke French and Spanish(I don't exactly where they're from, considering I don't comprende).

Its amazing who you run across in online play. I've played with people who are stoned or drunk(and claim they play better in that state). I've played with people who are vulgar, disrespectful, and downright annoying. I've played with females who are pretty good. I've played with kids who are Jr Highers or younger and can crush anyone. I've played with people who trash talk nonstop(its fun to politely put them in their place).

This weekend I encountered something kinda cool I met this guy who plays with his daughter on the weekends. I just thought that it was kinda cool to see a father and daughter hanging out together in a not so usual way.