A new Weapon in the War on Bethel's Campus

Mishawaka, In. - As the war on Bethel's Campus escalates, Administration introduced a new weapon of mass torture in hopes to demoralize the local inhabitants. Eminating from the main gazebo on campus is a collection of Christmas songs played at obnoxious levels in efforts to subdue the opposition. Opponents of the war say that they have crossed the line by instituting this new measure way too early...beginning in the month of November. "The fact that they are playing "Winter Wonderland" when there is no snow is enough to drive anyone mad." Said one Adult student who wished to remain anonymous.

Ironic

Last Tuesday night at class, I ran into one of the gentlemen who ushers at church during one of my breaks. The guy that I had been sitting by for 5 weeks also talked to the man from church. Later, the guy I sit by asked me how I knew the gentleman. I told him that I go to his church. He responded by telling me that he went to his church. I saw him today at church.

Thursday I was a little late to answering the door bell. To my dismay, I realized I missed the Jehovah's Witness crew. They left me a pamphlet saying that "The End Of False Religion Is Near!" It talked about what is false religion and how it affects you.

History has been made....

Can you do better than this?
Give it a try.