When Darkness Reigns

So I still have to do another post on PhillyGO, but not now. Soon.

I had an incredible time at Summer Camp. It was the best camp so far. It was amazing to see kids step up into the calling of wanting Christ to be the very reason for everything that they do.

It was also the toughest five days of my life for me personally. And the days after will be just s tough. I've rediscovered things about me that I don't like, that I abhor. I can't stand that I hurt other people. I've wanted to run away from my problems, to get a fresh start. I've wanted to kill myself. For some reason, God is bringing me face with the lies of Satan that I've bought into, and everything else that is not of God, that has had a foothold in my life. Its not pretty, I'm sure you've seen it if you've been around me in these past few days.

At the same time through all of this, I've been reminded of God's faithfulness and His love for me. He has reminded me that I am valuable to Him and that I have an incredible impact on the lives of others. He has blessed me with the prayers of others who care for me. He has blessed me with friends who believe in me.
He is with me. He hasn't given up on me. He will see me through.

So now what? What does life look like right now?
It looks like someone who hates that he has made things difficult and frustrating for others, and is torn up inside because of it. It looks like someone who has to wrestle with the dark things inside, but will prevail.

So, I leave you with a song that just messed me up in a good way tonight. Yes, I know if you are like me you just glance over the words and think, "Aww, that is nice." But truly look at the words. better yet, listen to the song and read the words. Tear Down The Walls, by Hillsong United.

Tear down the walls see the world
Is there something we have missed
Turn from ourselves
Look beyond
There is so much more than this

And I don’t need to see it to believe it
I don’t need to see it to believe it
Cause I can’t shake this
Fire deep inside my heart

Look to the skies hope arise
See His majesty revealed
More than this life there is love
There is hope and this is real

Cause I don’t need to see it to believe it
I don’t need to see it to believe it
Cause I can’t shake this fire burning
Deep inside my heart

This life is Yours and hope is rising
As Your glory floods our hearts
Let love tear down these walls
That all creation would
Come back to You
It’s all for You

Your Name is glorious
Glorious
Your love is changing us
Calling us
To worship in spirit and in truth
As all creation returns to You

Oh for all the sons and daughters
Who are walking in the darkness
You are calling us to lead them back to You
We will see Your spirit rising
As the lost come out of hiding
Every heart will see this hope we have in You

Cause I don’t need to see it to believe it
I don’t need to see it to believe it
Cause I can’t shake this fire burning
Deep inside my heart

This life is Yours and hope is rising
As Your glory floods our hearts
Let love tear down these walls
That all creation would
Come back to You
It’s all for You

Your Name is glorious
Glorious
Your love is changing us
Calling us
To worship in spirit and in truth
As all creation returns to You


So there you have it. I'm failing at the contest to be stoic. But that is okay.

This life is yours... and hope is rising...