Monday, December 21, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
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Thursday, December 17, 2009
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Focus.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Being Pissed off at God
Jeff! How dare you say that!
I'm sorry if your offended by terminology, well not really. Wait to pass judgment on me until after you are done reading this.
I know that God is good. I know that God is loving. I know that God wants the best for me. Its just sometimes I'm a little slow to understand that. I struggle with why when I am living according to how I understand God's word and plan, he decides to do something different.
Look at Jonah, he knew that the Lord was gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and would forgive the people of Ninevah. Yet he was still angry at God for whatever reason.
When it comes down to being pissed off at God, I'm really pissed off at myself. I know what scripture says,"For my thoughts re not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55: 8-9. Francis Chan in Chapter two of his book, Crazy Love, reminds us that this whole life thing is not about us, it is about God. Everything that we do should be to point others to him and bring him glory.
I don't like change without knowing what is going to happen next. I want a God that I can understand, that I can predict, so I know what I am to do next. God does not mold himself into my view of who he should be... He already is who he is and has always been that way.
So here I am, frustrated at myself at times. I don't understand why God allows specific things to happen or not happen in my life. I don't understand his timing. I don't why he loves me so much and desperately wants me to surrender my stubborn heart over and over to his will in order to bring him glory. But one thing I know in the end: ultimately God is always right, whether I agree with him right away or not. So I must realize the sooner I wrestle through my thought processes and understanding, and surrender my heart to his will, and truly place my trust in him, he will make the path that I'm to travel straight. Easy? Most definitely not. I think the whole reason why its not easy is because I'm involved in this process. But that is how God chooses to teach me and refine me.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
So long, old friend
The good news, if any, is that the ride is going to a new home.
So, here's to you, Demon Drop. Thank you for forever instilling that new ride feeling of anticipation and fear whenever I spent time with you. May you spark the those same feelings in a new generation of roller coaster enthusiasts on the left coast...
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Facing your fears
Many a year back, I felt a strong calling into ministry, specifically working with youth. I knew that a ginormous obstacle in my way was going to be college, more specifically writing papers. I confronted my fears, for a while. But I could not see to the other side to the end result. It got to the point where I gave up school and the hope of God's calling. I mean, I can do ministry without a piece of paper, right?
I still firmly believe that. But this summer, I was reminded of something foundational to the building of my character. It was time to face my fear, and conquer it. Now I feel like I've been wandering in the desert for far too long. Is it still in God's plan for me to enter Youth Ministry in a paid position? Maybe in another area of the church. I really don't know. But I know that this fight is for me to complete.
Is this fight easy, not at all. I lack a lot of discipline when comes to focusing on my studies. Sometimes it is really just bout the process. To quote that great modern philosopher, Ain't about how fast I get there, Ain't about what's waiting on the other side, Its the climb.
Maybe God has great things in store for me as a result of getting a piece of paper with a degree on it. Maybe I will never "use" it and work in the "real world". That is ok by me. I just want to obedient to God's call in my life where ever he takes me. And for now its fighting through this thing that others have achieved so gracefully, but is so hard for me.
And now I leave you with this... here is a little clip about a guy who's trying to save the girl, but to do so he must face two of the worst things in the world combined. A zombie clown.
(Disclaimer. Yes this from a rated R movie. If you are offended by that, don't click on the play button.)
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Psalm 63: 1-3
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Sounding Board
I cannot write papers. At least that is what I think, what I tell others, and what actually happens in a glorious meltdown of will, motivation, and useful thought when I try. I blame it on not formally learning how to in high school, or at least my other abilities in homework and test-taking compensated for, which lead to my mediocre grades at times. Writing papers has been the bane of my existence in college life, the first, the second, the third, and yes, the now fourth time round.
The truth of the matter is, I can write papers. I have all of the potential in the world. I just have trouble getting all of that potential moving somewhere coherently.
That is why I need a sounding board. I know what I want to say and write for the most part, I just have trouble getting to the point of writing and staying focused. When I can bounce ideas off of someone,(and sometimes I just need a good slap across the face) I can focus more clearly on the task at hand.
So, of course as my mind wonders, is there a spiritual application for this? Probably. I thought of one, but I just lost focus...
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 07, 2009
The Fall
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Hope is rising
I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
Psalms 27;13-14
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
When Darkness Reigns
I had an incredible time at Summer Camp. It was the best camp so far. It was amazing to see kids step up into the calling of wanting Christ to be the very reason for everything that they do.
It was also the toughest five days of my life for me personally. And the days after will be just s tough. I've rediscovered things about me that I don't like, that I abhor. I can't stand that I hurt other people. I've wanted to run away from my problems, to get a fresh start. I've wanted to kill myself. For some reason, God is bringing me face with the lies of Satan that I've bought into, and everything else that is not of God, that has had a foothold in my life. Its not pretty, I'm sure you've seen it if you've been around me in these past few days.
At the same time through all of this, I've been reminded of God's faithfulness and His love for me. He has reminded me that I am valuable to Him and that I have an incredible impact on the lives of others. He has blessed me with the prayers of others who care for me. He has blessed me with friends who believe in me.
He is with me. He hasn't given up on me. He will see me through.
So now what? What does life look like right now?
It looks like someone who hates that he has made things difficult and frustrating for others, and is torn up inside because of it. It looks like someone who has to wrestle with the dark things inside, but will prevail.
So, I leave you with a song that just messed me up in a good way tonight. Yes, I know if you are like me you just glance over the words and think, "Aww, that is nice." But truly look at the words. better yet, listen to the song and read the words. Tear Down The Walls, by Hillsong United.
Tear down the walls see the world
Is there something we have missed
Turn from ourselves
Look beyond
There is so much more than this
And I don’t need to see it to believe it
I don’t need to see it to believe it
Cause I can’t shake this
Fire deep inside my heart
Look to the skies hope arise
See His majesty revealed
More than this life there is love
There is hope and this is real
Cause I don’t need to see it to believe it
I don’t need to see it to believe it
Cause I can’t shake this fire burning
Deep inside my heart
This life is Yours and hope is rising
As Your glory floods our hearts
Let love tear down these walls
That all creation would
Come back to You
It’s all for You
Your Name is glorious
Glorious
Your love is changing us
Calling us
To worship in spirit and in truth
As all creation returns to You
Oh for all the sons and daughters
Who are walking in the darkness
You are calling us to lead them back to You
We will see Your spirit rising
As the lost come out of hiding
Every heart will see this hope we have in You
Cause I don’t need to see it to believe it
I don’t need to see it to believe it
Cause I can’t shake this fire burning
Deep inside my heart
This life is Yours and hope is rising
As Your glory floods our hearts
Let love tear down these walls
That all creation would
Come back to You
It’s all for You
Your Name is glorious
Glorious
Your love is changing us
Calling us
To worship in spirit and in truth
As all creation returns to You
So there you have it. I'm failing at the contest to be stoic. But that is okay.
This life is yours... and hope is rising...
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
PhillyGo through the eyes of a adult-type person.
PhillyGo was the sixth consecutive (mission/evangelism)trip that I have been on with NMC Senior High. We stayed at a Presbyterian church in the Kensington area, which is on the NorthEast side of Philly. There were 21 students and 6 leaders on this trip.
This like every trip I've been on, this trip was unique. We had many opportunities to serve the community, whether it was the various Salvation Army locations, serving at a ministry to the homeless, or playing and building relationships with the children of the neighborhood. We also had many opportunities to share our faith in these areas, as well as out right starting conversations to share the Truth.
From before the trip started, there was an evident theme of breaking out of comfort zones and being obedient to whatever God called us to do. It was awesome to witness this is action. I saw the quiet students become more vocal and confident. I saw encouragement gone rampant(granted it was pushed on them at first, but they took it and made it their own). I saw students become bold in their faith. I saw Christ move in their hearts. I saw lives messed up and wrecked because of and for Jesus Christ.
And it hasn't stopped so far. I look back at the other trips I've been on, and I can truly say there is something different about this trip, about these students. It may be too early to truly say, but maybe not. I see a change that can only have happened from those who have truly met with and surrendered to Jesus Christ. This not to say that the other trips weren't powerful, or lives weren't changed, I'm just saying that this trip seems different.
I'm excited.
I'm excited to see what is going to tke place at Summer Camp.
I'm excited to see what is going to take place once school starts.
I'm excited to see what God has in store for the Barbarians from Philadelphia. I pray that I will be one of them as well.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Back from Philly.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Late night ponderings.
I love playing with kids. I love trying to make them smile, and chasing them as some horrible monster, which leads to me getting beat up(Pastor Rockstar's children are good at this, I discovered).
One thing I've come to realize that happens in those situations is that those that I interact with...they are the only ones in the world to me at that point in time. I automatically forget about what is going on next, what do I have to do, or any other thing that is so "important" and consumes my mind.
Every once in a while I will have a conversation with someone and I will end up with the same feeling... that nothing else in the world matters at the point of in time, but that conversation.
What do I take away from these different examples? That those things that consume my thoughts and worry about aren't always all that important. That I need to continue to be a better listener. And being silly for the little ones is always okay.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Let us pray, let us pray...
- Dustin Eby. Leaves tomorrow to start his trip that leads him to Rwanda.
- Caleb Bislow. Leading the charge on this Rwanda trip.
- NLF Impact team currently in Nicaragua.
- Philadelphia trip. Students and leaders doing Lord knows what.
- Jeffrey Simpson. A leader that is going on above trip. Pray that his life won't be gripped by fear as to being a leader, being vulnerable, being an instrument of God. Pray that he doesn't get distracted. Pray that God would rock his world when it comes to falling more in love with the heart of God and His desires.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Where do you go for...
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Goodbye, Lord Denethor.
Its been something that had been on my mind for a while, and last night I decided to do get rid of it, and today I went through with it.
I'm sure I'll miss it, but I'm excited at the possibilities without it. I've been meaning to do a lot of reading.( I was a reading fiend in high school.) I think that without it, I will be a better human and Christ follower.
Only time will tell.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Hello from the Point
I'm convinced that coming to Cedar Point the night before is the way to go. You are here. You get to sleep well. You get in the park an hour before the public if you stay in a Cedar Point owned resort thingy. You go home not completely exhausted.
I've always loved this trip in May. High School is still in session and Summer is not in full swing. 15 min waits in line or walk-ons are the norm.
This trip has slowly evolved. it started with me and Bauer and a bunch of others, to us two and one of our close friends, to finding a fourth to even out on the rides. This year that close friend couldn't make it, but Mish who came last year and loved it is back, plus die hard Cedar Point guru Chunk, and Mish's live in guest Paul Wall.
I'm excited.
For me this trip has become a time to put life on pause, not worry about life, work, whatnot, and have fun.
We've listened to great music, we've laughed a good bit, and we've had some serious conversations. I'm sure more is to come... we haven't even got to the rides yet.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Back.
Some things I learned while I was gone:
Life goes on without the internet.
I could seriously work for the DNR here, here, or here.
Going to bed at 10 and waking up whenever is where it is at.
We try way too hard at complicating Christianity and sucking the joy and fun out of it.
The trials and circumstances that plague us are mostly complicated and compounded by us.
Friday, May 08, 2009
Star Trek
Thursday, May 07, 2009
127
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
What made the human mind dark enough to kill?
So much pain. So much hurt. So much darkness. Yet through this horrible tragedy, Christ has been glorified over and over through the friends and family of those killed that day.
I love that the Living God who I serve, the God who out of darkness brings a new hope.
Here is your freedom.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Homesick
Today I got homesick.
Except today, it was a little different. I had this longing to be home with Jesus. I mean, there is always a longing to be home, but this was magnified today. The question I am asking myself is, "What am I going to do with this longing?"
My best answer is to echo the prayer that Jesus taught his disciples in Matthew 6:
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven..."
May you take time to realign your focus, not to just be busy, but to have purpose in the things you do.
Monday, April 06, 2009
What is that?
So, after work I grabbed my camera, hopped in my Jeep, and went to investigate. Sure enough, what I saw was what I thought I saw.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
The Verdict.
Ten years ago this summer, I went out to Kingdom Building Ministries in Aurora, Colorado to participate in The Laborer's Institute. My first Wednesday night back at church following TLI, I decided to race a Jr. Higher to the room that we meet in. There are two ways to get to this room, I chose the back way. On my way to the room, I kinda landed on my foot wrong going down a half flight of stairs. It made some noises an ankle shouldn't, and almost immediately started to swell up. It turned black and purple and was hard to walk on for about two weeks.
I never had my ankle looked at, and always wondered what I really did.
A couple of weeks ago, I started to run. Two Fridays ago, my foot started to hurt. After an x-ray, a bone scan, and consulting with an orthopedic dude, I discovered that I have a stress fracture in the cuboid(#7).
Now when talking to the orthopedic guy about my stress fracture, he asked me if I had a previous injury to my foot. So, because of my second injury, I did find out that I messed up my ankle ten years ago.
The verdict? I'm not as young as I used to be, and I need to be more careful.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Remember what God has done.
In looking at the past, I'm excited about what's to come.
10 worship songs, 10 Artists
1. Refuse to be Denied by Desperation Band. I had no idea who Jared Anderson or the Desperation Band was until they came to our church a few years back.
2. Everything by Tim Hughes. The connection Band brought this one into my life recently.
3. Fire Fall Down by Hillsong United. For the longest time I heard people talking about this Hillsong group. Once I fell into the peer pressure, I now know why.
4. If I stand by Rich Mullins. This song has saved me on many dark nights.
5. Only you by David Crowder Band
6. Glorious One by Steve Fee. I first heard Fee's music at Jr. High Summer Camp a few years back. I got one of his albums soon after. Great stuff.
7. My Glorious by Delirious. Delirious is one of the first bands that I grew to love after becoming a follower of Jesus. It reminds me of Bethel Chapel.
8. I know by Darell Evans
9. Rushing Wind by Keith Green. I read the biography of this guy while at KBM. Incredible story. Its amazing to see how God uses people for his Glory, and to draw people unto Him.
10. Gifted Response by Matt Redman
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Saturday, March 07, 2009
10 things
10 things to have continuous revival
1. Get thoroughly dissatisfied with yourself.
2. Throw yourself into your desire for God.
3. Put yourself in the way of spiritual blessings.
4. Do a thorough job of repenting.
5. Make restitution wherever possible.
6. Bring your life into accord with the scriptures.
7. Be serious minded.
8. Deliberately narrow your interests.
9. Begin to witness.
10. Have faith in God.
8 miles
It all started what will be 12 years ago. I was attending another church at the time, and had heard about a series of nights dedicated to growing deeper in one's relationship with Christ. I had decided that I was going to make it a priority to check it out.
I was not disappointed.
I found that the worship music was different than singing the hymns and an occasional chorus, and the speaker was challenging me right where I was at. I met many people, including a Pastor, several volunteers, and even several other students who were so friendly, welcoming, and encouraging. Its like I was visiting my home after a long and tiring trip. I was glad I went.
The next year (Spring of 98), I was a senior. At this point in life I was at the mercy of my parents when it came to driving, as I didn't have a car yet. One night of the On Fire Rallies, both my parents were out with the vehicles, and I had no ride, except for the two-wheeled variety. So, one dreary, drizzling night, I donned a yellow rain poncho and peddled the roughly 8 miles from my house to Nappanee Missionary Church. I wasn't going to let anything keep my from participating in what I knew was going to be an incredible time to focus on God.
The On Fire Rallies changed my life. One might say that my life would have sucked without it. I found a place I fit in, It helped shape my choices of my life after high school, and my desire to invest in the lives of youth.
I look back and think of what God has done in my life through the On Fire Rallies, and I thank and praise Him. But more importantly, I look forward in anticipation of what God is going to do.
As I sit in a Coffee House on the eve of this year's Rallies, I'm trying to think. Am I ready? Like the 8 miles that would have kept me from learning and drawing closer to God, is there anything that could be keeping me from hearing God speak to me?
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Currently watching/listening to
Currently listening to: Lone Lilly by Regan Graverson. Regan performed last night in Goshen. Good stuff. Its not the kind of music that I'd normally listen to, and I think that's why I like it.
Always be prepared.
1. A pocket knife/multi-tool. It seems like whenever I don't carry one, I need it. Also, as soon as I don't carry one, other people become intensely disappointed in me.
2. A minimum of one pen, but preferably at least two. Whether its signing for a delivery or writing a quick reminder at work, or taking notes during a message, its always good to be prepared. The reason I saw preferably at least two is that inevitably someone asks to borrow a pen. And 83% of the time, I will never see said loaned pen again.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Its going to be a velcro shoes day tomorrow.
As anyone knows, the parking situation can be a tricky situation. Show up last- you're good to go. But as in my case, show up early- and you are up a creek.
While trying to figure out how to get out(because I knew the ground was waaay too soft), I watched somebody attempt going into the yard to get around a couple of vehicles. Knowing the inevitable outcome, I waited with my tow straps and Jeep to come to the rescue.
This is where the fun begins. I could have been one of the people to stand around, or I could hook up the strap to the car and my Jeep. To do this, I had to get down and soaking wet to find a place to hook on to:Although the pic doesn't do it justice, I'm soaking from the knees down.
What is the point of this story? It could be that I like playing in mud puddles and using my Jeep to pull people out of being stuck.
No, my point is this: Sometimes you have to get down and messy sometimes to help a friend out.
So, is this a regular practice for me? I don't know. I want it to be, whether its literally or figuratively. How about you? Are you willing to get down and dirty for your friends?
By the way thanks to several people this week. Whether its been through Facebook, texting, or through conversations, you've made my week worthwhile.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Red Green
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
There's gonna be a floody, floody
So this morning, the Lord has reminded me by force, to cut down and the amount of stuff I have. I guess I could be really be upset by this turn of events, or I could just roll with it, and just thank God for the bigger picture of all that He has done for me and all that He is to me.
So without further ado,
Rise and shine
And give God the glory, glory...
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
You tube
I found this on a old friend's blog. Its pretty interesting:
I'm a nerd who likes Nerf guns. Some bigger nerds than me modded one:
25 Things
1. I can't stand Ketchup, Mustard, or Mayonnaise.
2. I rode the school bus until two weeks before I graduated high school.
3. I've never had a milkshake from Steak and Shake.
4. I almost died on a waterfall in Thailand.
5. My favorite band will always be Five Iron Frenzy.
6. My mountain bike got stolen at Cornerstone Music Festival in 1996.
7. As a 7th grader, I performed on the field in the Hoosier Dome for Marching Band.
8. Most people at Prairie Camp know me as the guy with a horsefly on a string.
9. When I was young, I wanted to be a Fireman when I grew up.
10. I've been T.P.ing once in my life. Ask me me in 4 months about it.
11. If I had to live in another state, it would be Colorado.
12. I've never been to Mexico.
13. I almost blew my foot off with a 20 ga. shotgun (as a teenager...I'm smarter now).
14. I shot a deer once hunting with Chad Loucks. I realized after I shot it, I had done so, illegally.
15. I have regularly attended five churches in my life... Three of them I worked at.
16. I have been to the World's largest hand-dug well.
17. The summer is my favorite season.
18. If I went back to college, I'd be a Junior.
19. I want to go to Africa, Australia, New Zealand, and back to Thailand.
20. I truly first met Jesus in a tent in a field on County Road 9 at the age of 16.
21. My favorite NMC student ministry songs are Happy Birthday(as loud and off key as possible) and Little Cabin in the woods.
22. Some of my favorite times of work are when I'm the only one in the church.
23. I've worked at three Mc'Donalds in my life.
24. I love tearing things apart to figure out how they work... and them attempt to put them back together.
25. If I were a crocodile, I'd thank the Lord for my big smile.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Behind the times?
Saturday, January 24, 2009
In case you were wondering...
Recommendations
Fury to Freedom | Facing the Giants | The Poseidon Adventure | The Incredibles | The Fly |
IMDb User Rating: | IMDb User Rating: | IMDb User Rating: | IMDb User Rating: | IMDb User Rating: |
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Its late.
Its time for me to recant my faith.
No, not my faith in Jesus Christ, my faith in me. A concept jumped into my head a while back, and it can be linked with Galatians 5:7 You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? I do believe that I allowed Jeff to get in the way of Jeff.
So how do I keep from Jeff from getting in the way of Jeff?
I must abandon the belief that I can fix every thing in my life by myself.
I must abandon the belief that I have all the answers.
I must abandon the belief that I am in control.
I must abandon the belief that I am worthless. (Contradictory? Nope.)
I must surrender my will.
I must surrender my fear.
I must surrender my rights.
I must surrender my doubts.
I must surrender.
I must decrease so that Christ may increase.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Friday, January 02, 2009
You got to know when to hold 'em...
Thursday, January 01, 2009
From Despair to Hope.
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
'Cause I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you